My Thorn in the Flesh

2 Corinthians 12:7-10: "In order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Amen. And such a powerful passage.


God knows me so well, and this verse speaks to me. This is how I perceive myself. Frankly, my thorn in the flesh is being quick to action. I feel that I respond to adversity by objecting, making my voice heard, and standing fast and firm. I take an active approach, not passive; I am a do-er. My problem is I lack sufficient discernment; I don't take a lot of time to think before doing. 


I don't follow James 1:19-20 as well as I should: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." And personally I feel like anger could perhaps include incitement to action, not just ill feelings.


That's me (Part 1). In being quick to action, I am about as gentle as a fire hydrant. That's one of my side effects. I turn people off from listening to me because I unintentionally become harsh and brash. Apparently, I get "lawyer-y" on others. Ouch.


I want to change. I have been praying to God that He changes that about me. I feel so far that my answer has been no several times, but I am open to considerations: (a) I may not have been ready or open to it, (b) God may choose to say "no", or (c) God is giving me opportunities to develop the change. It has been, and continues to be, a tough process. I'm trying, and I hope I am receptive to what He has in store for me.